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I'm Carole, living in London, happily married and mum to two amazing boys.I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Rectal Cancer in April 2010. Surgery took place in November 2010 and I now have a permanent colostomy...Spinal mets were then diagnosed in October 2011...In January 2012 I was told of further spread to the hip area (multiple lesions)..My life expectancy is now 6-9 months. Walk alongside me on the last part of my experience with this..

Saturday, 8 May 2010

Weekend :-)

Well, it's been a funny fews days really. Friday I was exhausted and had lots of discomfort, so after taking Dj to school, made a few phone calls and managed to sort out a meeting at the secondary school (at last!) so that's one really important thing off my 'list of things to do before my Op'.
After that I decided to take some decent painkillers and go back to bed, stayed there most of the day in the end. Rab cooked dinner (after he came home from work) - which was really lovely and I managed to eat quite a bit for a change.
Makes mental note: must get him to cook more often, as he's actually quite good at it :-))

Had a relaxing bath in the evening, soaked away some of the pain and then went back to bed - so Friday was a 'bed day' really.

Saturday James took Dj out for lunch and I went off to have lunch with Leanne - nice to spend some time with her although the whole afternoon seemed to be dominated by me and my damn illness.
I'm so glad she's my daughter in law, I couldn't love her more if I tried. From the first time I met Leanne I liked her immediately, she's one of those people in life that are just special.
No matter what the future throws at me, I'm happy knowing she's there for James and that in itself takes a load off my mind. Just got to hang around long enough to meet Dj's future wife now :-)))

Text Sarah late this evening to find out what time mum and dad arrive back. She then text me back and said '11.25pm your time, we had a lovely relaxed week, so glad to see mum and dad and my new apartment is lovely, I'm so happy now'........
Despite my promise not to cry anymore, I did when I received that message. Cried not for me this time but knowing that sometime over the next day or so I have to ruin her happy feelings and throw her into this mess. I'm almost tempted to say nothing and just let her carry on feeling happy - but know in my heart I can't do that.

What I do want to let her know when I talk to her is:
I'm ok, don't want her to jump onto a plane, don't want her to panic and we'll keep her in touch with what's happening all along the way.
I just can't see any point in her coming over when I'm due in hospital at any point now - I'd love to see her afterwards though because really think that'll be my lowest point.

So Sis, if you're reading this - it makes sense to bide your time and come when I need you most (and then only if you can - my blog will keep you in touch with everything in the meantime).

Tomorrow or Monday (haven't decided which day yet) I have to talk to mum and dad. I'm not looking forward to that one bit - simply because I don't want them to be worried about me.
I'm glad I've had this extra time to get my head around things because at least I'm not in such a mess now and hopefully when they see I'm quite together and accepting of what's happening, that'll help them to feel optimistic too.
Mum's best friend Betty has just had a big Cancer op a few weeks ago - I know she's been really worried about her and now she's got to go through all the same worries again....sigh......

Monday the nurse will be ringing me to discuss the MRI results and give me an appointment time for Wednesday to get together again with the Surgeon. She's also going to arrange the pre-op assessment for the same day, if possible (IF I'm having surgery first, rather than after Chemo/Radio) but Monday I should know exactly what the plan is.

Received a lovely card from work on Friday, then on Saturday received another card that had been forwarded to me by Hazel from one of our suppliers at work. Really touched by that - she's such a lovely lady (Joan) and felt quite emotional opening that. Everyone has been so kind.
I've also received two telephone calls this week, wishing me better as soon as possible, one from someone at work and the other from someone who used to work there but recently retired.

Tomorrow is Sunday and Rab is taking Dj and his best friend swimming (usual Sunday morning activity). I'm trying to keep the normal things going for as long as possible so that Dj feels everything is alright. He's not good with changes at the best of times so the longer everything stays 'normal' the better for him.
I shall stay in bed until at least 11am then just do a few bits before they come back.
At some point tomorrow, I'll speak to mum and dad and then decide whether to tell them tomorrow or maybe ask them to come over on Monday whilst Dj's at school...(can you tell I'm trying to put this off for as long as possible?)

Off to soak in the bath now, take some more painkillers and try to get some sleep.

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