About Me

My photo
I'm Carole, living in London, happily married and mum to two amazing boys.I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Rectal Cancer in April 2010. Surgery took place in November 2010 and I now have a permanent colostomy...Spinal mets were then diagnosed in October 2011...In January 2012 I was told of further spread to the hip area (multiple lesions)..My life expectancy is now 6-9 months. Walk alongside me on the last part of my experience with this..

Monday, 28 June 2010

I did go.......:-)

Just wanted to add onto the previous post, I did go for my zapping session today - 9 more to go now.

Had a chat with the Radiotherapy staff before the treatment and they said that it's important to hold onto the small things, like NOW I'm in 'single figures' with remaining sessions - until 4pm today it was still double figures :-)

She also said that they do know it can be extremely painful for some people, they do really feel bad when they know a patient is in constant discomfort but it's for your own good :-) That made me smile.

She asked me to visualise the tumour during the remaining sessions and imagine it reducing in size each time - whether it DOES reduce or not is not the issue, it's the mental state of mind imagining that it will.

She was a sweetie actually and made me feel a little better about things.

So, I'm back on track - 9 more to go then I'll be able to relax and repair. I truly didn't know that Radiotherapy could hurt so much though, I thought it was just like having an x-ray with few or nil symptoms - I've learned so much since my diagnosis.


  1. I know...that Radiotherapy is a pain in the arse! I thought mine was bad enough with the two small circles about the size of waggon wheels on each cheek...it looked a dark sort of reddy-grey! I hate to say it me darlin but it carrys on cooking for 2-3 weeks post treatment (I am sure you know that) after that it will settle quickly.

    Again I know you like to have a look on the internet...wikipedia states 'Radiation therapy works by damaging the DNA of cells.' The problem with this is it doesn't differentiate between good and bad cells...maybe one day ay!

    My Fran does something called EFT which I used to do whilst trying to stay still on the bed...It is a tapping technique on the pressure points as is likened to acupuncture without needles...As I had my resection prior to surgery I visualised the radiotherapy zapping the grey and off-white cells whilst leaving the good and healthy white cells alone...who knows if this is what kept my damage to a minimum...people would think I am crazy doing all this mumbo jumbo stuff but hey not doing me any harm :-)

    Not long now, by Friday night there will be only 4 to go, now doesn't that sound good!

    T x

  2. Thanks Tony, I'll keep trying to think positive thoughts during the treatment but because I'm so very very sore now it's getting harder.

    I have a decent pain threshold generally but this is just agony - I knew it would be uncomfortable but really wasn't expecting this much pain.
    I've slept about 1.5 hrs again last night because every time I move the searing pain wakes me....

    Am feeling so sorry for myself at the moment and it's pretty hard to stay in a positive frame of mind :-(

  3. Absolutely understandable...I found that If I didn't feel positive or in a happy mood 'I just didn't' - I had enough to worry about without trying to bloody smile. Although I did try and do things to help, like go for a good lunch when I could sit properly :-) Not much I or anyone can say, it is that flippin rollercoaster that you absolutely can't get off...stick with it, do not give up....my favourite saying that always makes me laugh when people mean well is....'I am right there with you'....come here then and let me stick a branding iron on yer bum then!

    Not long now and to finish a quote and then a speech to rally you to arms!:

    "Tough times never last, but tough people do"

    Don't let it beat you and don't give up, you will learn alot from this pain and it will make you stronger for the time ahead. There will be times when you want to give up, do so but only for a short time before you regroup and move forward. This pain is not you, it does not define who you are but defines who you will become.

    Much Love


  4. Thank you Tony, I shall try to memorise that speech for my lowest times still to come....x