About Me

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I'm Carole, living in London, happily married and mum to two amazing boys.I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Rectal Cancer in April 2010. Surgery took place in November 2010 and I now have a permanent colostomy...Spinal mets were then diagnosed in October 2011...In January 2012 I was told of further spread to the hip area (multiple lesions)..My life expectancy is now 6-9 months. Walk alongside me on the last part of my experience with this..

Tuesday, 30 August 2011

Summer's almost over :(

Well, I've been off work since the 3rd week in July for the summer holidays - and it's been great.

Late nights and late mornings, no stress - no shouts of:
'Where IS your blazer?'....
'WHY didn't you do your bag last night?'....
'What do you mean you don't know where xyx is?'....
'You said you had NO homework yesterday when I asked'....

Just nice relaxed late mornings and catching up with programmes we'd Sky+'d to watch at a later date....Dj has the same sense of humour as me so I tend to set the Sky box to record comedy stuff that Rab doesn't like, then we watch it together whilst Rab's at work.
Today we sat around for a few hours watching 'Mock the Week' (political satire programme) which we both really like - it's doing laid back things like this that make the summer break so relaxing for me.

The time has flown past though, it feels like only last week or so that I was saying 'See you in September then' - and now I'll be back at work this Thursday.

So, I've relaxed and successfully ignored 'c' as much as possible...

I've ignored the nagging pain in my shoulder and the agonising one in my back under my ribs as much as possible...

I've ignored the fact that I can be in bed for 10+ hours and still feel tired when I get up (mind you, it doesn't help that I'm awake so often during the night with the stupid pain in the rib area and shoulder every time I turn over)...

I've refused to acknowledge the dull ache in the area of the original tumour....(well, I've acknowledged it in my head, got up and moved around to ease it off but not given it any public acknowledgement or excessive publicity).....

I'm successfully ignoring the fact that my breathing never did return to normal after the op..this is apparently 'not unusual' but feels pretty unusual to me :)

I've put to the back of my mind (mostly) that my next scan in September (think it's the 19th) is pretty crucial in answering the question about the lung area 'too small to call' spots...

I've done okay really, all things considered...and for that I'm glad that 'c' didn't dominate the whole summer break the way it managed to do last year.

Tomorrow is Dj's birthday - I will do a separate post on that one.....he's so excited and optimistic about what he may (or may not - lol) be getting in the way of presents. It's nice to see because as you get older you forget about that 'excited, optimistic' feeling that you get as a kid. Let's hope it's a happy memorable day for him.
Today he said 'You've had cancer since I've been in double figures'....he's right, he was 10 when I was diagnosed and now he'll be 12...I just hope that his lasting memories of me will not be 'my mum had cancer all through my childhood'....

So tomorrow's about making some memories that involve good stuff :-)

Catch up soon x


  1. You done well dear friend....I get that tiredness thing...I had a good nights sleep apart from getting to go to toilet, my bowels have never really got back to normal! So after a good nights sleep I got up at 9 and then fell asleep on the sofa for an hour! You are my hero!

    Much Love

    T xxxx

  2. Oh Carole,
    So glad that you are having a relaxing break.
    Wishing you well for 19th Sept,
    Hope that you all have a great day today!
    Hugs to the birthday boy!
    I'm sure that the best memories of his childhood will be sitting with Mum, watching funny TV shows together!
    Thinking of you always!
    Loads of hugs, x :)

  3. 'WHY didn't you do your bag last night?'....
    'You said you had NO homework yesterday when I asked'....

    Hey ho, so familiar. Only for me it carried on over the summer. Thoughtful Mum that I am I pinned up a calendar with the times each day when 'Mum's Taxi Service is unavailable' (i.e times when I was at work or using the car). Also diaried the radio station committments, the days taken up with Open Days, the days away camping or at Festivals. The intention was that the blank days would be used to do all the pre-upper 6th coursework set by the teachers. Some hope! Despite considerable nagging (my big mistake) we are 5 days away from start of new term and J still has 4 assignments to complete.
    Arrgh, Mum tears hair in frustration and tries unsuccessfully to zip mouth shut.

  4. Happy Birthday to our dear friend Djamel!

    What did you get? What did you do?

    Much love to you and your lovely mum

    Tom, Lizzie and Shents xxxxxxx

  5. Hi Carole,
    I'm glad you were able to relax and enjoy your summer. You deserved it!
    I think Steve is starting to realize that a lot of things will never be the same again due to cancer. I think he would be ok with that if it didn't hurt so much every time he has a bowel movement. The radiation damage to his sphincter is not fun! He has been extremely busy lately with work and school. If he doesn't get a post up this weekend I'll do one for him. Good luck with work and know that you are often in our thoughts. xoxox Carla

  6. Hi Carla,

    You hit the nail on the head with that statement, it's right that after cancer a lot of things will never be the same again.
    Whether you end up 'cured' or not either way it's a high price to pay, simply because it affects so many aspects of your life...

    Am going to email you over the weekend.

    Much luv