About Me

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I'm Carole, living in London, happily married and mum to two amazing boys.I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Rectal Cancer in April 2010. Surgery took place in November 2010 and I now have a permanent colostomy...Spinal mets were then diagnosed in October 2011...In January 2012 I was told of further spread to the hip area (multiple lesions)..My life expectancy is now 6-9 months. Walk alongside me on the last part of my experience with this..

Friday, 20 January 2012

The following few days after Bloods and Drugs....

By Wednesday evening I definitely felt quite good - I decided I had reduced pain in my spine and hip so happy bunny. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't 'pain free' but it did seem less of a 'pain' - however Wednesday was also the day when my new drugs plan started so that makes it impossible to tell if it's a good reaction to the bisphosphonate drug or a good reaction to the new meds prescribed by the lovely C.

Thursday I managed to get out shopping with Rab - not far, just a short bus ride away but we were out around 2 hours and I didn't feel at any point that I couldn't cope and needed to get back home again. Since around October we've not managed to get out shopping because within 20 mins I'm saying 'I can't do this, I need to go home because the pain is just too much'.....so we got out and I coped well - Yay!
Finally managed to spend my voucher that James and Leanne gave me around a year ago (for Accessorize) - found a lovely handbag in there that matched my brown boots perfectly - however I then found a totally gorgeous scarf too.
Hmmm, decisions, decisions, which to have? - luckily Rab stepped in and said he'd buy me the scarf, so I got both :)) Brilliant :)

I then popped into another shop and found a nice pair of jeans, a warm jumper and a lovely top - good day for shopping obviously :)

Friday I spoke with my nurse, C, she rang to make sure I was feeling a bit better on the new pain meds and to adjust levels if not...Had a nice chat with her, she also asked about Rab and the boys and we said we'd catch up again early February - unless I need her beforehand. I have the number to get in touch with her if I have any issues at all. Feel better about a lot of things since she's been involved in my care.

Saturday morning I was really looking forward to my visitors, Lisa and her lovely son T, plus Tony. Both were travelling many many miles to see me and I was so pleased to know that the three of us would finally get together.
We are all fellow bloggers - initially we all met on a Cancer Chat forum and built an online friendship, which developed into much more.
We were, as Shents (Lisa) put it, the 'gang of five' who just gelled on first meeting each other online. Out of our five, we've lost 2 - David who passed away in April last year and Rose who passed away in June. The original plan was that all five of us would get together late summer last year - but it wasn't to be.

During the summer holidays I had met up with Lisa and her two gorgeous children (regular followers of my blog will recall that meeting back in August 2011 - we had a great day out with the children)...I'd spoken to Tony many many times by phone but we'd not actually met in person - however I wasn't in the slightest bit concerned because I knew we'd all just 'gel' the way we did online........and we did :)
Lisa and T arrived first and within 5 minutes Dj and T had picked up their conversation from where they'd left it, back in August - to listen to them you'd think they'd seen each other yesterday :)....

Whilst Lisa and I had a cuppa and a chat they went down into the back garden to shoot Justin Beiber with Dj's BB guns....(it was a poster, don't panic! and they wore safety goggles!)....
Lisa and I chatted about things and again it felt as though I'd only seen her yesterday, not 5 months ago. She is totally comfortable to be around, has a naturally sunny nature, is warm, friendly and someone you'd actually WANT to be friends with  - a special lady indeed...and she'd travelled from the North of England to me, way down in the South, their journey took over 5 hours, just to give me a hug and some company.

Tony arrived shortly afterwards - he pulled up outside in his car at exactly the same time as James and Leanne arrived. I heard him call out to James ' James, where can I park' and again it felt as though it was a completely natural conversation with someone who was around regularly, not someone we'd never met before.
Tony came in, hugs all around - kettle on so lots of tea and chatting...then Sarah and Manolis arrived to meet Lisa and Tony too...more tea/coffee then we had lunch and finished off with some gorgeous donuts that Tony had picked up along the route. Again it had taken him 6 hours to get to me........
We finally managed to all get together and not only that, James, Leanne, Sarah and Manolis also managed to get over to meet them and it was a really lovely day.
Everyone got on, everyone was comfortable - complete strangers brought together by one disgusting disease - brought together by something you'd not wish onto your worst enemy but without it, I'd never have met them.

I don't know why I got cancer - but I do know that sometimes you are meant to meet some people in life. I feel I was supposed to meet Lisa and Tony.......They are life time friends - true friends and I'm so happy we finally met up :)
 Thank you both for coming all that way just to check up on me - much luv to you both xx


  1. Carole, I am so happy for you. Your friends sound lovely and I can't think of anything better than spending time with people who we care about. So glad your pain is not as bad as it was and even happier that you have such a caring nurse. Sending big hugs....:-)

    1. Hi Bernie,
      Thank you for your lovely hugs - sending some back to you in freezing cold icy Canada :)

      You're right, there's nothing better in life than spending time with people you care about. For me that's what this life is all about :)
      Love to you xXx

  2. We had a group of 6 who stayed in touch having been diagnosed within 6 months ofeach other having met on the macmillan forum. There were others who contributed to the thread I started, and mostly it was us four girls from for corners of England who met up: Bristol, Manchester, Lincolnshire, Kent. We'd meet in the Moet bar at Selfridges. We were due to meet at my house in september 2010 but Bec died a couple of days before. We toasted with pink bubbles and saw rainbows through the glasses on the floor. Rainbows make me think of her now. We lost Peter too, both had spread to spine and/ or brain. Both had craniotomies which I am too ill to have anyway it seems, hence radiation only. I'm so pleased you're got less pain, I know just how that feels! I know you won't think that's a latitude too. The other 2 girls, Debsi & Katie visit every 3 months or more. Both came to see me in the hospice at christmas and Deb due Saturday, Katie later on in the month. You can't put a price on these friends who really know how you feel without having to explain sometimes. Hope you continue to improve with biophosphonates.

    Love, Lisa (loopy369)

    1. Hi Lisa,

      I remember reading about Bec on your blog and I also remember the rainbow connection - which is simply a lovely way to remember your lovely friend.
      Great that Deb and Katie are still there for you - as you say it's priceless having friends who just 'get' it without any type of explanation taking place.

      Take care of yourself Lisa, you know you're never far from my thoughts..mum's always asking about you, I know she reads your blog too and worries if you're AWOL for a while :)

  3. Hi Carole Glad to read your blog again I worry when you dont seem to be around, I know I haven't known you for long and we have never met but I feel a bond with you. I'm so glad your pain managment is in place and hopefully this will allow you to do fun things with your lovely family. Hugs and good wishes and my prayers

    stef xxx

    1. Hi Stef,

      I think I owe you an email but I admit I've got behind with things...when I'm sorted I'll contact you hun

      Hugs back and continue with that recovery and getting well again Stef..early days though so you should still be pacing yourself?
      Much luv xXx

  4. Hi Carole, thinking of you. I agree totally that life is so much more about the people you meet than anything else we might get in this life. My struggle continues but so does my determination to get met's patients the recognition and treatment they deserve. Love to you, Juanita xx

    1. Hi Juanita,

      For me it's about the people we meet, whether in our day to day lives but also our cyber lives...it's about those children we've created and giving them a future to look towards - whether we are a part of that or not...it's about the memories and the days when you just know that 'Today wasn't ALL about cancer' :)

      As for met's patients getting the recognition, support and treatment we want/need - that's a ongoing fight that will continue long after I'm gone. I just hope they learn *something* from each of us
      Much luv xxXXxx

  5. Sometimes there's good in the crap stuff my friend

    1. Indeed Angel, and then sometimes.............:)

      Hugs xxx

  6. As I have toughened up because of cancer, the tears over the past 2 years or so have dried up...it takes something pretty special to bring tears back to my eyes....Carole, I thank you so warmly for those beautiful words....It was a 'Wondrous Day' and one that I will remember for the rest of my life. Thank-you dearest friend...Much Love, Tony xx

  7. Sending you a hug Tony and a big box of Kleenex Mansized with aloe vera for a gentle touch :)

    It was a lovely day and I'm just so so glad that my dodgy stomach temperature thing waited until after everyone had gone. What a nightmare if it had happened the night before! I wouldn't have been able to eat ANY donuts :-))

    Much luv, always Tony xXx

  8. Dear Carole just sending you the warmest of hugs xx and i am just SO glad you have these special friends who love and support you. I am thinking of you all xx and sending love to your beautiful boys
    love sally xxxxx
    ps you look lovely in your photos :)
    Keep kicking its ass Carole I wish i could kick it for you xx

    1. Hi Sally,

      I'm SO thankful for my lovely friends, family and my cyber friends too.

      You say you wish you could give it a kick for me? You *do* give it a kick Sally...every time someone takes the time to comment it gives me the incentive to give it a quiet kick.....it gives me the incentive to want to carry on writing my blog and reading all your lovely comments :)
      Therefore by commenting you ARE giving it a good kicking :-)

      Thank you for the warm hug xXx

  9. Dear James,

    Even though it is very hard for you to post here, you are a very brave person just like your lovely mother. Your mother is a wonderful lady.! She is the first one who wrote to my thread about my mother. She was so caring, so nice.. I have been thinking about Carole every day and praying that she will have a peaceful journey. It breaks my heart to say goodbye to her so soon but life is so cruel as you said. Please tell her that my mother is doing better now. And I thank her so much for the support she gave me. Please give my love to her. My heart goes out to you and to your family. I am sending sun shine to Carole and your family from Istanbul, Turkey. May God be with you all.! Soley xxxx