About Me

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I'm Carole, living in London, happily married and mum to two amazing boys.I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Rectal Cancer in April 2010. Surgery took place in November 2010 and I now have a permanent colostomy...Spinal mets were then diagnosed in October 2011...In January 2012 I was told of further spread to the hip area (multiple lesions)..My life expectancy is now 6-9 months. Walk alongside me on the last part of my experience with this..

Thursday, 30 September 2010

Reading Material ...

Starting to get my bag organised for my 'trip' next week (trip - sounds better than operation eh)...

I thought I'd just quickly share with you all my reading material for my time in hospital...

I'm taking three books with me in the hope that I'll be comfortable enough to just relax and read in-between attempting to walk up and down every so often...

My books are:

My Shit Life so Far - Frankie Boyle
Shit My Dad Says - Justin Halpern
It's not Over till the Bag Lady Rings - Ian Spratley

Seeing any pattern here :-)))

I'm struggling to decide what I actually need in my 'trip' bag...packing for a holiday is much easier for some reason.

Today......

I have woken up full of a cold :-((

My throat is sore, my nose is completely blocked, I'm sneezing for England and I have a bloody temperature.....arrrgghhh!

Am now going to 'up' all my immune support stuff and keep my fingers crossed that I can shake this off in a couple of days or my op will be postponed and I really don't want to have to mentally prepare for this all over again. Going back to bed now to rest and repair myself.

Am fed up because apart from the possibility of having to postpone my op, I had planned a nice night out with Hazel and Christine from work this evening (last supper!).....Sorry girls - I was really looking forward to it but got to prioritise things at the moment.

Rab had this cold two weeks ago and it took him over a week to shift it, Dj went down with it over the weekend and it took him 4 days to get rid of it (he's got a fairly good immune system despite his lack of veggies and fruit) so I'm hoping that as my immune system has been functioning really well lately, 3 days maximum....(she says whilst sniffling into the tissues and sitting here with a stinking headache) :-(

Keep your fingers crossed for me

Wednesday, 29 September 2010

Hospital visit today.......

Today I had to go to the hospital to meet with the Stoma team and after that to meet again with the surgeon
I thought I'd finished with him until the surgery, but they contacted me and asked me to see him again today - wasn't really sure why although I suspected it was maybe because he's still wondering am I actually going to go ahead with this op or not....

So firstly to the Stoma team. This was only going to be a quick measure up ready for next week.
The idea is that you get to have some say in where they place the Stoma, working out where it will be most comfortable, interfere least with your clothing and fit into your lifestyle...
Anyway, the 'quick' meeting turned into a 1.5 hour chat with Anna, one of the really lovely Stoma nurses. I met with her before and she's great - very dry sense of humour, doesn't tell you it's going to be 'okay' and all fine....What she said was:

'It really doesn't matter what I tell you because until it's done you can't possibly get to grips with it, after that it's a choice of who controls who - you either choose to control your Stoma or you let it take over your life and control you'...

She then went on to say that I'll probably not even want to look at it for the first few days - and that would be fine. They will deal with it until I'm ready but she's confident that once I do decide to get on with it, I'll be fine.

We talked about irrigation in the future - at least 4 months after surgery once everything has settled. What that means is that you can irrigate the bowel daily *flush it out* and then you get no waste for approximately 24 hours - depending on each individual persons routine. I like the idea of that but we'll see how I get on.

I also told her I was worried about changing Stoma teams after my discharge from hospital.
Officially I should come under another hospital after discharge due to my home address - but she said she's going to sort it out so that I can stay with them instead.
I said I didn't want to have to go through the whole building a new relationship, going over everything again, with a new team - she agreed that it's all been stressful enough. I feel better about that already.

Lastly we discussed where the Stoma needs to go on me....I'm now marked up and covered in shiny tape ready for Monday...wanna see?



Our last part of the chat was about diet - she told me to ignore the diet sheets and eat whatever I wanted to.
She agreed that moving from a healthy diet to white processed foods would NOT be the best thing for me to do - and as my body is totally used to high fibre food hopefully it'll be fine. We might need to tweak things a bit but she felt that changing too much would be too drastic and probably lead to other problems such as constipation!

Finally our last bit of chatting was about hernias - Anna tells me that 50% (YES! FIFTY percent) of patients end up with a hernia after Stoma surgery.
She explained that this would mean an unslightly swelling, discomfort and probably a further operation to correct - maybe even needing to move the Stoma to the other side of the body.

It was then explained that hernia's develop when people do not heed the advice given about NOT lifting anything heavier than a cup of tea for 6 weeks, no housework, no carrying shopping or attempting to stretch to 'do' stuff, no exercises.
She maintains that hernia's can be avoided if advice is followed to literally do your walking exercises every few hours, rest and leave everything else to someone else.

I have plenty of volunteers ready to help out so I'll behave myself and do virtually nothing for 6 weeks - I seriously do NOT want a hernia and the prospects of a further op or dodgy Stoma.
If I've got to have one, it needs to look GOOD! :-))


Then I went upstairs and had my appointment with the surgeon....He's actually a nice man, he's kind and I know he does actually care about his patients.

He said that he was confident that by taking the antivirals the Shingles virus should be kept under control and therefore shouldn't be a problem with interfering with the healing of the wound - so that's good news.

We then discussed the PET scan again - he said he'd looked at it again in more detail and double checked all results and was happy to say that there appears to be no lymph node involvement (the MRI had showed that there possibly was a few that were affected) - so again that was good news.
Lastly he said he'd double checked the lungs/liver area and other tissues and could see no signs of any spread whatsoever - his words were 'seems to be nicely contained with no, or at least limited, spread'...Again, good news.

Then we talked briefly about Chemo after surgery. I've made it clear that I'm not happy about having further Chemo unless it's deemed absolutely essential.
I figure we can deal with Chemo IF it comes back in the future - I told him I'd rather be poisoned when there is something to poison instead of 'just in-case'...I reminded him that the PET is pointing towards nothing else flying around my system at the moment.

We left it that we will decide when we get together again approximately two weeks after discharge when I go back for my post op checks - depending on pathology reports, margins and whether the lymph nodes ARE actually in the clear.

He also reminded me that I will be monitored for 5 years (blood tests, scans and 6 monthly checks initially - moving to annual checks if the first two checks go well) but will not be classed as being in remission or free from cancer until we get to that magic 5 year marker.
He reminded me that Rectal cancer can be a real 'problem' for resurfacing in other places (liver/lungs) but that we would deal with that if and when it happened - which is exactly why I don't want Chemo for no reason when I may well need it for a reccurrance in the future.

He then asked me how I was feeling about things particularly the Stoma and the surgery - I told him I still don't 'want' the op but I've accepted that I have no real options and I'll be okay once it's done - somehow I'll find a way to deal with it and move on.
He nodded and smiled then said 'You will Carole, you will.....You're realistic, inquisitive, tough and you're brave and I feel you will be coping with this very well before you know it'.

So, that ended our meeting with him assuring me that he's going to do his best possible job on me and all will be well.
Told him it best be all well, and that I'm only trusting him with my life because he's a Greek man and my sister lives in Greece - He laughed alot at this and said 'Then I definitely have to do my best for you Carole'....

And I know he meant it :-)







On the Night.....

Partizan Belgrade vs Arsenal - Champions League...

1-3 on the night....that'll do nicely thank you :-) Roll on December for the rematch at home!







Oh and just for the record, that was Arsenal's first Champions League win away from home in a year. Decent enough result for me :-)

Tuesday, 28 September 2010

Messing with my diet now......Arrrggghhh!

First they are going to mess with my body so I will no longer be able to do 'normal' things such as crap in the toilet like normal people do...

NOW they are going to mess with my diet - which is the one thing that has made me feel better, normal and healthy.

Included in all the paperwork I 'have' to read before my operation is a list of foods to avoid once it's taken place..
Things such as;
Nuts, cereals, fruits, pulses and seeds
Fruit smoothies
Lentil, pea and bean soups
Wholemeal flour including Rye bread, granary bread, chapati
Bran flakes, museli, porridge, shredded wheat
Brown rice
Anything containing Rye and whole grain - including crisp breads, oatcakes

Allowed:
Rice Crispies, Frosties, Coco pops (YUK!) :-(
White Rice :-(
White Flour, White bread, :-(
Tea/Coffee/Cocoa, clear soups
All milk and Dairy products :-(
Red Meat and Poultry
Clear soups

Then onto fruits and Vegetables which along with pulses makes up the main part of my current diet....
Avoid Allowed
Apples Bananas
Apricots Cherries
Berries (all) Citrus fruits
Damsons Grapes
Figs Melons
Mango Strawberries
Pears Nectarines
Plums Peaches
Dried Fruits (all) Pineapple
Guava
All currants (fresh and dried)
Prunes

Peas Potato without skin
Beans Bean Sprouts
Brussel Sprouts Asparagus
Chick Peas Bamboo Shoots
Lentils Beetroot
Okra Cauliflower
Parsnip Celery
Spring Greens Cucumber
Spinach Lettuce
Sweet Potato Mushroom
Sweet Corn Peppers
Turnip Pumpkin
Potatoes with skin Radish
Aubergine Swede
Broccoli Tomatoes
Cabbage Watercress
Carrots Courgette
Leeks

And they said this was going to be 'simple' and easy to adjust to..."Once it's done you'll be able to carry on exactly as normal Carole"....apart from learn to live with a bloody bag, change most of your wardrobe, buy new underwear, change your whole eating habits, eat white processed foods again, drink coffee and eat tons of dairy and meat....

If this is what they intend on feeding me in hospital I shall definitely come out weighing less than when I went in...all these months working on my diet, regaining weight and feeling healthy for them to feed me White bread and Coco Pops!........ I *don't* think so somehow....

I strongly suspect I will not be sticking to the recommended diet sheet once I escape from hospital. Trial and error will be the deciding factor on my diet - not this sheet.

Also, everything I've read up on about colostomy's says that people struggle like mad with Asparagus, mushrooms, Cauliflower - mainly due to excess gas caused..
Asparagus in particular seems to be a culprit of smelly gas and they stick this onto my 'allowed' list....Bah!

Wait til they find out I'm drinking grass - wonder what they'll make of *that*.....LOL

Monday, 27 September 2010

Great Website and Blog....

Last night whilst browsing around I came across a blog by a guy called Ryan in the US who had been diagnosed with Stage IV Hodgkin's Lymphoma.

His blog is now in my blog list entitled 'I made Cancer my bitch' and it's definitely worth reading - whether you have Hodgkin's or not...

He's also set up an online shop to sell cancer related items. We appear to have nothing like this in the UK (well, not that I can find anyway) and I'm putting the link here to his online shop simply because I think his attitude and his stuff are both great.


Link to the shop
http://www.funnycancershirts.com

Some examples of the stuff he has for sale below (copied with Ryan's permission)

Also, he DOES ship to the UK and worldwide for very reasonable rates.

Enjoy :-)


Cancer Greetings Cards


Cancer Coffee Mugs


Cancer Fridge Magnets....

On his website, you'll also find other goodies like Sweatshirts, T Shirts, bags AND there's money saving special offers there at the moment.

Go and have a look and see if you can find something to cheer you (or someone else) up :-)




Sunday, 26 September 2010

Reasons to be Cheerful....

As you know, last week I had my pre-assessment half day at the hospital.

During this visit I met with nurse after nurse and had things done like:
  • blood pressure;
  • pulse and heart rate checked;
  • lungs listened to;
  • height (still not shrunk yet - lol)
  • weight (still putting on the odd pound or two - am now about 8st 2lb);
  • blood tests;
  • urine tests;
  • EGC;
  • got measured for the awful looking stockings that I have to wear for a month after surgery to avoid developing thrombosis;

Left with numerous sheets of paper informing me of this, that and the other......I have enough reading material to keep me going right up to admission.

Also provided with:
  • days worth of drinks to build you up before surgery,
  • then other pre-op drinks to have the day before surgery,
  • plus bowel prep stuff,
  • special scrub stuff that you have to shower with the day of your surgery

Now for my reasons to be cheerful title...amongst the numerous sheets of information paperwork is a list of things that can go wrong during my operation - with instructions that it is essential that you read this sheet in full as you will be expected to give your permission for the operation to be carried out and this sheet explains the risks involved.

It's nicely entitled 'What are the potential risks of APR?'.....Sigh :-(

So, what are the risks then?.......
  • Sexual Dysfunction
  • Bladder Dysfunction
  • Pain
  • Phantom Pain
  • Pelvic Discomfort
  • Perineal Numbness/Tingling
  • Perineal Wound Breakdown

There is then another sheet in my pack which states: 'You will only be advised to have an operation when the advantages outweigh the potential disadvantages'
So what are the advantages of APR? .....
"While it cannot guarantee the disease will not return in the future, this surgery can possibly extend life expectancy and improve related pain symptoms that you may be having'

Yeah Okay.....I get the bit about (possibly) extending life expectancy but improving the pain (which I don't have) by possibly giving me the pain from the list of things that can go wrong above seems like fairly shit choices to me.

I didn't even get to list the 'other' risks associated with major surgery in general for you yet...

Common risks following major operations are:
  • chest infection
  • urinary infection
  • excessive bleeding leading to a blood transfusion being required **(see below for more details on this)
  • blood clot in your leg (DVT)

Less Common risks include:
  1. heart attack
  2. blood clot in your chest
  3. leakage from your internal bowel join
  4. wound dehiscence
  5. damage to or bruising of the nerves which control your bladder and sexual funtion
  6. internal scarring that may require further surgical treatment
  7. damage to your spleen which may have to be removed if it cannot be repaired
  8. accidental damage to the tubes which drain from your kidneys
  9. accidental damage to the bowel, bile duct and other organ.

LOTS of reasons for me to remain cheerful then eh :-))

**Lastly - I have been asked to take part in a trial to ensure that if I need a transfusion during surgery I will only receive blood that has been cleansed of CJD traits - that's a bit of a no brainer really...thought about that for all of maybe 3.5 seconds before agreeing.

I then asked her how they choose their trial patients and she explained that they only invite patients who are at extremely high risk of needing a transfusion during their surgery to take part.....
Ummmm great - another reason to be cheerful then - BUT at least I won't end up with Mad Cow Disease afterwards.

Actually I can't believe that they are still using ANY blood that could potentially have variant CJD contained - but apparently they are!
The ONLY blood automatically cleansed of variant CJD at the moment is blood used in transfusions for children.
The logic being 'at least the next generation should be free of this'...(and me too of course) :-))

We then had a chat about lots of other things and she ended by explaining that if I did have a transfusion during surgery they probably wouldn't tell me (?!!) and the way I will find out is when she contacts me to have blood taken about 8 weeks after surgery....

Then she stood up, shook my hand, said it had been lovely to meet me and what a shame I had this horrid disease to cope with and left saying..... 'So I'll see you in about 8 weeks then'....LOL.