- I'm Carole, living in London, happily married and mum to two amazing boys.I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Rectal Cancer in April 2010. Surgery took place in November 2010 and I now have a permanent colostomy...Spinal mets were then diagnosed in October 2011...In January 2012 I was told of further spread to the hip area (multiple lesions)..My life expectancy is now 6-9 months. Walk alongside me on the last part of my experience with this..
Thursday, 13 January 2011
Friendships and Cyber Life....
Some times things happen for a reason I guess...this will be explained in a bit.
On Tuesday night I was lying in bed awake for hours just thinking really. Not about me, or the operation, or the stoma or even the cancer - I was thinking about people on a forum and people who's blogs I read or who read mine...
People who are struggling sometimes to get on top of things but always find the time to help someone else...
I found myself thinking about cyber life and how we 'meet' people who make a difference in our lives and how certain people become friends - real friends, just distant ones.
So as I lay there and thought about so many individual people on the forum who go there mostly to help other people - sometimes they even need reminding to update their own threads (ooops! I'm guilty of that at times - I update here and forget about my thread on there)
Tony - continuing his fight after not being free of it for anywhere near long enough. Always on the forum trying to put someone's mind at rest or offer a shoulder. Always there for me whenever I feel I'm going to have a meltdown
Rose - so brave that she avoids saying how terrible she's feeling and still logs on to help other people as often as she can
David - struggling with his treatment but great at seeking out the good days and letting us know about them
Shents - beat the demon and still thinks about others, helping and advising and showing people that it's not necessarily the end of the road
Anne - so supportive to others despite her worries about her own family member.
Graham - been through the mill since retiring for a more laid back and relaxed lifestyle...despite his recent major surgery he's always there for other people, always offers upbeat and positive advice
Fiona - who's been battling to get answers and is unaware of what's next - hard to remain upbeat when you have no definite care plan in place - as yet....but she does remain positive and supportive to others despite her own frustrations
Jadziadax - such a massive support to anyone needing answers for Prostrate cancer - battling the authorities and the system to ensure her dad receives the best care possible - and yet always there for anyone who finds themselves with a diagnosis.
Jolamine - treated so poorly by the NHS up to now - has had to fight weekly to receive basic information and cannot move forward until she gets answers - but still logs on regularly to offer help to other people who are recently diagnosed, frightened and unsure.
Kev - dealing with his own grief after losing his wife but despite his obvious pain has been trying to support other members who have recently lost their partners.
I laid there for hours thinking about these people and also bloggers too....(Steve, Lisa, Chez, Alli, Rose Mary, Paula...and others too numerous to mention).., . I found myself thinking about the friendships that are built online with people who give of themselves when their own problems could easily just take over.
I thought about how what happens to them affects me and others who have formed friendships with them on-line...how when someone is having a scan/test/waiting for a result we are there waiting with them, hoping for the best and dreading the worst.
Then last night I was reading Rose Mary's blog and she had linked a post from a lady called Nancy....When I read Nancy's post it just clicked and I realised that as bloggers we do all form friendships and they are real friendships - just not physical ones.
Many of us will never meet, will never hug or even shake hands - but friendship is not about proximity.
Read Nancy's post here: