At last....some positive news :)

I don't have Breast cancer :)

On Friday, I had my mammogram and appointment with the Breast care clinic. Met with a lovely consultant, Mr R, who I had a long chat with prior to the mammogram and asked him if it would be possible to get my results same day. He said that normally they wouldn't do this - however because he felt that I had more than enough to be dealing with he agreed that he would get the result for me that day.
After my mammogram (which if you've not had one before was uncomfortable but not painful in any way) I met with him again and he informed me that it was, as I'd expected, completely clear.
Therefore it appears that the tumour on my spine has indeed come from the original rectal tumour and has found itself a new home in my spine.

Mr R was the most lovely man and we had a chat about 'options' now. I told him I'd done some research myself on cyberknife treatment. I expected him to say this wouldn't be available to me but he actually said that as far as he's concerned 'all options are now on the table - including cyberknife'. He informed me that he wants to take my case on as his department deal more often with spinal mets than my current colorectal team.
Spinal mets in Rectal cancer are relatively rare - less than 4% of cases worldwide - therefore he feels that his team are better equipped to deal with this and has agreed to take me on, regardless of the absence of any breast tumours.
He feels I'm a bit of a puzzle and therefore interesting to him...it's not only unusual for spinal mets to develop from Rectal cancer, it's also highly unusual for this to happen so soon after my original surgery and without the appearance of mets to the liver first. Therefore as I'm unusual the 'NHS resources are now at my disposal '....:)
I really liked Mr R - felt confident with him and I know he will do his best to provide me with a quality of life.

We discussed what my priorities are and I explained that I'm fully aware of the seriousness of spinal mets, I accept this and my main priority is now removal of the pain.
He feels that he can achieve this - at least in the short term. We talked at length about a couple of options, cyberknife, radiotherapy, short term chemo or neurosurgery....Now, I admit I took a very deep breath at the thought of surgery on my spine BUT if it makes a difference to my quality of life and he feels that is the best option then this is the path I will have to follow - but I admit to being totally scared about spinal surgery!

He assured me that now I'm officially under his team, things will start to happen quickly.... He explained that things HAVE to happen quickly now because spinal compression can cause damage that absolutely cannot be reversed therefore it is essential that things now happen fast.
He also insisted that I could not leave his department on Friday without first seeing the Palliative care team so that they could start working on immediate pain relief. (I had previously been referred by my colorectal team but was waiting to hear from them). He contacted them and asked that they come down to his department and meet with me today as he felt that it is completely unacceptable to be in this much pain

So I waited and met with a lovely doctor, Dr D, from the Palliative care team who talked through the pain symptoms with me and tweaked various medications to give some immediate relief from the CONSTANT pain I'm now in. He also carried out some neurological tests to ensure that the reflexes were behaving as they would expect and that there was no sign of imminent damage being caused...he explained that if he was concerned about this I would have been admitted on Friday. However, so far things are 'okay'...
I've been warned about signs to look out for and instructed to get myself to A&E immediately should I notice any of them.

So, to relive the pain I'm now on 5 different types of medication - short term - whilst they make decisions on what to do. Mr R's team are meeting this Thursday to make decisions on the next step/s.
He feels that in the short term I am 'fixable'...in other words they can do stuff to reduce the tumour and relieve the pain. What they probably can't do is completely remove the tumour - but they can try to control it and therefore give me back some quality of pain free life for as long as......So for now, I'm concentrating on what they can do rather than what they can't do.

I got home just after 6pm after being at the hospital from 10am - so a very long, but extremely productive day.

By the time I arrived home there were three messages on my ansaphone asking if I could come in for an MRI on Monday...so true to his word, things are happening now 'urgently'...Then later on in the evening I received another phone call asking if I could come in for the MRI at 12.30 on Saturday instead!.

So on Saturday I had my 45 minute MRI to check the spine area again. Mr R wants to see how deeply into the bone the tumour has embedded itself and also wanted to check the vertebrae involved. The Radiologist informed me that I was back in on Thursday 'for a procedure' that Mr R has organised! I told her I wasn't yet aware of this....she smiled and said Mr R works fast, you'll be told next week.
She then asked if I wanted to know what I was booked for and then told me that it was for a spinal biopsy.... GULP...really scared now!

I've spent the weekend feeling really drugged up but definitely in less pain now. The pain med's are working but the result of this is that I'm dizzy constantly, feeling sick 24/7, and need to sleep much more than normal - however the pain is less than it was prior to Friday.
I'm meeting again with the Palliative care team on Monday next week to see what needs some more tweaking med's wise.
I'm hoping that as the med's get into my system I may feel less nausea - or at least it might not be ALL the time. Right now concentrating on anything beyond a few minutes is difficult, because I feel completely spaced out all the time therefore I've decided to take this week off work and get the pain med's sorted first. I'm hoping to be able to go back next week because if I'm working then things are 'normal'...and I want to stay 'normal' for as long as possible.

It's taken me two days to write this update...I've had to do bits and then go back to it later due to my lack of concentration and also needing to go back to sleep. But on a positive, at least I can now sleep without being in constant agony - and it's been MONTHS since I last managed to sleep without pain.

I feel very optimistic about Mr R and his team - so it's all good right now :).....still scared about a spinal biopsy though and even more scared at the thought of spinal surgery!

Keep things crossed for me eh? Much luv xxXxx