I think that if I was religious I'd feel that maybe 'God' or someone was looking over my shoulder and calming me down - but I'm not religious in any way so I reckon I'm just a tough nut :)) Once I get the emotions sorted in my own head I can deal with whatever comes my way. That's me and how I do things and how I'll continue to do it......Pain though, that's a whole different ball game, dealing with the physical pain is much harder than sorting out the emotional pain....
So, my immediate aim now is to get some relief from this ongoing pain.
On Tuesday I have my first session of intravenous bisphosphonate and this may assist in relieving some of the draining, sickening pain in my bones. I will also have some bone cement put into my spine at some point over the next few weeks - again the aim is to reduce the pain and strengthen the bones. Neither will stop the cancer from spreading further, but it may help to make the spread slow down - because the bone will be tougher to 'eat' through.
Monday morning I need to get bloods done to make sure they can go ahead with the infusion on Tuesday.
On Monday afternoon I'm seeing a Macmillan nurse at home - she will be sent from Trinity Hospice (gentle reminder that all donations (no matter how small) are very gratefully received by them - link on the left if you'd like to help them, help me. Many many thanks to the many people who have already donated and helped me reach £600 currently raised)...
We will discuss pain management and other things. She asked me when we spoke if she could bring a Social Worker with her, for emotional support for me and the family, but I said no to this. I have an army of people around me who can give me emotional support both in real life and cyber life. I'd rather the Social Worker's time was spent on people who do not have the network that I have. Neither Rab or Dj want outside help at this point.
Then that's it for this week - just rest up for a few days after the treatment which can give me side effects such as
- Flu type symptoms, (high temperature chills and muscle pain)
- Drop in calcium levels
- Red or sore eyes
- Anaemia (symptoms include feeling very tired and breathless)
- Feeling nauseas and vomiting
- Osteonecrosis - previously healthy bone tissue in the jaw becomes damaged and dies
and wait for this next one..........so funny......
- INCREASED BONE PAIN !!! ............lol, good job I'm back in my calm place so I can find the humour in that one :)
On the other hand, maybe I'll be lucky and sail through this treatment with NO side effects - I'm long overdue a break here :)
I've decided to resign from acting in films, but I'll leave you with a famous actor's quote........
"I'll be back"!!!
Much luv and catch up soon xxXXxx