Start of 3rd week of Radio....

Yesterday was the beginning of the 3rd week of Radiotherapy treatment.

Today, Tuesday, I have to see the Doctor and Clinical Radiotherapy staff (because that's what you have to do on Tuesdays).

When I had my Radio treatment yesterday the Radiographer said he was concerned about two patches of skin that are not healing (this is from where the shingles virus flared up) and wants me to see Dr L about it today because he feels that they may want to delay treatment to allow the skin time to heal a bit first. So, we'll see today what they say!

Apart from that I feel crap, have an upset stomach, sore bum/anal area, two patches of skin that won't heal, felt sick last night and bit of a temperature but that's subsided now.
Today I just feel like I have an upset stomach so have taken some of the anti upset stomach stuff they've given me and hope it helps, plus some painkillers for the soreness....
Also feel a bit down and quite tearful at times but this is apparently 'normal' for people having Radiotherapy.

Met Louise for lunch yesterday which was nice - lovely to see you Lou :-)
I didn't manage to eat much but at least managed to meet up, so that's an achievement in itself these days...
I'm sticking to my healthy eating plan but have no appetite again at the moment so forcing myself to drink decent juices and eat small amounts when I can.

Everything just feels like too much effort at the moment - you try to stay 'positive' but when everything hurts and feels uncomfortable, you can't get a decent nights sleep then it all starts again the next day it's bloody hard to keep in a positive frame of mind. That's not to say I'm in a negative frame of mind by the way, just that I'm fed up with feeling uncomfortable all the time.

Rab said on Saturday when I was trying to just keep going - you'll feel better when you have this operation because then you won't have this ongoing pain all the time...then I cried :-(
Feel sorry for Rab really because he doesn't know what to say to make me feel better.

He's right of course, once I have the operation I won't have this ongoing pain but I don't want the operation either so whatever he says it's 'wrong' really.
When I was at the hospital the other day I saw an man who was an inpatient walking through the shopping area with his drip attached, pyjama's wide open and huge colostomy bag sloshing around packed full of waste - I realised that soon that will be me and that was hard to see.
I didn't react at the time as I had Dj with me but it did hit me quite hard that is what MY life will be like in the next few months and really THAT was why I cried on Saturday when Rab said 'It'll be better soon'...

I told him about this man and Rab said 'Was he an older man?'...I said 'Yes, probably in his 70's', so Rab then said 'He's not bothered about hiding the bag because he's probably just glad to be alive for a bit longer, when you get old and then get saved you no longer care about what people think'... Makes sense I suppose but the truth is that I DO care about this huge change to my life, I do care that it will be different and there's nothing I can do about it.

Anyway, whinge over - I haven't got the bag yet so tackle that one later on, right now need to tackle the ongoing pain and discomfort. Let's see what the hospital say today about Radiotherapy continuing or not as the case may be!

Mum and Dad are coming over today to sort Dj out after school so at least I don't have to panic about being there for hours and being delayed - which I've now realised is 'normal' for Tuesdays.
The rest of the time I'm in and out within an hour now but not Tuesdays because there's so many other people to see as well as the treatment.

Spoke to Sarah last night which was lovely - can't wait til you get your internet up and running Sis, tell them laid back Greeks to sort themselves out :-)) and be careful on that Moped!

Finally wishing Leanne a very Happy Birthday for Monday, 21st June - hope you had a good day and got lots of lovely presents :-) xx