Happy New Year to all......

Just wanted to wish you all a Very Happy New Year and hope that 2011 brings only good things to everyone.

We don't really celebrate New Year, I never go out on New Year's Eve mainly because it was always so difficult to get a sitter for that night that I got into the habit of spending it at home - then as James grew up I realised I had zero interest in going out with other people and would rather spend it at home with him anyway.

That continued throughout my adult life - I'm just not a 'party person' the rest of the time so see no reason to become one just for New Year.

Rab nearly always works on New Years Eve, usually until about 3am - but this year he's finishing earlier and should be home by 10pm. We'll see the New Year in with a toast then move on.

I have to admit that this year I'm quite looking forward to saying goodbye and good riddance to 2010!

Apart from all that a quick update on me (yes, it's all about me, me, me...LOL)..

I'm still having my wound dressed every two days - it's still not healing and is being packed with something called Aquacell (Aquacell promotes healing from within apparently).

I asked the nurse today how long she estimated until it healed and I suggested maybe another week or two?....she said unfortunately it'll take much longer than that now. Blast! Still no sign of being able to lay in my nice hot bath yet.

I'm tired but not totally exhausted like I was a month or so ago - although I do still feel worn out most days by the end of the afternoon. I'm eating better - in fact over Christmas I ate plenty and managed to lose a whole kilo! Go figure eh!

I've discussed with the nurse the idea of having CEA blood tests done after 3 months instead of waiting for my 6 month check up at the hospital and she thought this was a good idea (*thanks Fiona for the suggestion).

My wound is uncomfortable and hurts if I stay in one position for too long - parts of my bum are still completely numb indicating nerve damage - which is apparently very common in this op. The advantage to this is that the nurse is able to pack the wound with Aquacell without hurting me at all - every cloud has a silver lining eh :-)

The Stoma works perfectly well, is not difficult to look after and I've accepted that it's here to stay. Do I like it? No, but I can live with it anyway.

I'm currently sourcing alternative bags as I dislike the ones that have been sent to me (*clear bags and actually I don't want to see the contents, thank you very much) so my current mission is to find colostomy bags that are both comfortable to wear and easy to live with.

Some of them itch like mad (different adhesives I suppose), some hang too low, some are too transparent, some are useless in that they start to come away from the skin too quickly...

I've found one that is 'acceptable' and asked for these to be delivered after the Christmas break...I've also found a new design that is completely flushable and requested samples.

If they work I feel that would be the best option for once I return to work - quick and easy to change and dispose of....eventually I'll work out which are best for me.

The gas pains have disappeared (since I ate the Spicy Thai Red Curry!) and eating is no longer particularly difficult now....I definitely don't have any trouble with eating Christmas pudding, mince pies, cream and all the seasonal fattening foods - it's just that they're not fattening me up at all...oh well, I'll just have to keep trying then :-)

So, just a final wish to you all...........

'May the New Year bring us all good things or at least nothing that we can't cope with - Happy 2011'

Christmas pic's........

This year my mum didn't do her 'David Bailey' stuff properly so we ended up with not many photo's :-)....Mum! What are you like eh? :-)

I always forget to take pictures but never worry because mum always snaps away all day and we end up with plenty - but not this year.
Anyway, here are some of what we DO have.....

He just loves those NERF guns - mind you, so does Rab :-)

Mum and Dad (notice the similarities between Dad's beard and Wizard in the background...lol)


Sarah and me





Sarah and Manolis.....(*STEVE - note the paper hat...:-)...)



James and Leanne

Rab's Christmas Dinner/s........

As I mentioned in earlier posts this year Rab was responsible for cooking the two Christmas meals for everyone.

When we discussed this earlier in the year I wasn't sure how mobile I'd be or how much I'd be able to do and I pondered on the idea of going to mum's instead or eating out...Rab immediately said 'I'll do Christmas, you can just supervise me'.

Okay, I admit, I was amazed. I always do all the cooking, preparing, and organising for Christmas - he's always organised the table. It has always been that way - but this year Rab took charge.

On Christmas day we had mum, dad, Sarah and Manolis over for Christmas lunch - so in total there were 7 of us.

Rab prepared vegetables, sorted out the roast beef, got himself a time plan going for things like cooking the Yorkshire puddings and he did really well. I was able to do more than I'd envisaged but the main jobs were all done by him.

Boxing day we had all the same people plus James and Leanne - so 9 of us. Turkey was put in around 9.30am and I stayed in bed until midday (!!) whilst Rab just got on with preparing the vegetables and organising his table for later.

Although I was able to do more than expected, Rab did the vast majority of preparing and with some supervision, cooking too.

I usually end up totally exhausted Christmas evening (not complaining at all - just stating facts, I like doing Christmas and it's a 'nice' exhausted)...but this year I was just normal tired - and Rab was exhausted.

I'm really proud of how he's coped since I was diagnosed. He doesn't say much at times, but that is his coping mechanism....

Whilst I was in hospital he coped brilliantly - remember this is a man who had never used the washing machine before, never mind ran a household...he got himself a washing rota going so that Dj's uniform was washed and ready, ironed all the school shirts, cleaned, shopped and cooked and visited me daily.

Dj didn't miss a single day of school whilst all this mess was going on, Rab kept him on track.

Since I've been out of hospital, Rab's had to go back to work (sometimes working stupid hours) but has continued to cook meals at home and make sure he's doing anything that I've not been able to do.

Now, he's done Christmas too....and then he went back to work on Monday at 6.30am..:-(

Anyway to finish up I'll just add that he even had time to dress up as 'Santa' to make Dj laugh....

And this was Rab after wearing the costume for 10 minutes..'Tired out Santa'..:-)

Twas the Friday before Christmas....

James and Leanne decided to take Djamel to Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park, London just before Christmas...Loretta and Tony also went along with their little lad, Jake.

Dj doesn't believe in Santa anymore - hasn't for years now - but he's brilliant at telling little kids (Jake) all about the wonderful, magical things that Santa can and does do.

So not only did Jake get to meet 'Santa', he was also privvy to an evening of Dj's tales about Santa, the Reindeer and his elves.

Below are some pictures taken on the night....when they came back I asked Dj if he'd had a good time and he said 'Yes, the best'....Apparently little Jake said it was 'The best day of my life so far'....bless :-)

One of the fairground rides.....

Dj and Jake chatting to 'Santa'


I'm not sure who had the most fun really, Leanne and Loretta or the two boys :-)


This pic was taken in the House of Mirrors with both boys looking like something out of an Alien film




So thank you James, Leanne, Loretta, Tony - a great time was had :-)

Some Memories of Christmases Past.....

Recently my mum sent me some old pictures by email of past Christmases when we were kids...it brought back some (very) distant memories indeed.

What do I remember about Christmas as a child? Well, we didn't have much money but we always got a pile of presents to open - not expensive, top of the range stuff or the latest craze, just good stuff that contained many hours of potential play.

We had plenty of food in the house, items that we normally wouldn't have such as nuts in shells, Christmas pudding and cream, mince pies and a selection of sweets.

Mum would have a Babycham and Dad would have a Pale Ale - we would get squash...Christmas crackers would be on the table and we'd all wear those daft paper hats - you know, the ones we all still wear now every year :-))

I've always remembered my doll's house and the tiny little items that went inside and was pleased to see that my mum had captured it in a photograph from all those years ago....looking at this photo I can still remember how happy I was when I found it that Christmas (I was 3 1/2 yrs old) and how much I loved the tiny little chairs and other accessories that went inside. It had a particular smell of wood that I immediately recalled on seeing it again.

For many years I actually believed my dad when he said he'd made it himself just for me....then I grew up and realised that this is a man who bangs nails into anything that moves (including shelves) so there was NO way in the world he made it - however it was still great.....

You can see my lovely dolls house here in the pic and my clever mum even managed to capture the excitement I felt this on getting this lovely present. (try to ignore the awful wallpaper and patterns that were 'everywhere' in the early 1960's..LOL)

You can also see that by todays standards, the 'pile' of presents was much less than what some children seem to get nowadays. The difference was that what we received was always appreciated because we knew that mum and dad had gone without things themselves to make sure that we three children always had presents from 'Santa' on Christmas morning.

We had extras to open of course, things like colouring books, pens, plastic hair clips - 'extras' nowadays seem to involve designer labels, latest trainers, top of the range latest craze toys that will be dumped into the bottom of the toy box a few weeks after Christmas.

Parents still go without themselves but also get deeply into debt so that their children can compete with others.

Has Christmas lost it's meaning for some? Yes, I do think so.

We've spent far less money than usual on Christmas gifts this year and it's a tradition I intend to continue with.

I've always liked the fact that we all spend Christmas together as a family, eat lots of rich food, watch traditional Christmas TV and play board games in teams - however in the past I've also worried about what to buy for people, whereas this year I've tried to buy gifts that 'mean' something and spent less in the process.

No more jumpers that Dad doesn't really want or like - this year something smaller but more personal that I'm convinced he'll love.

As children we used to wake before mum and dad, usually around 4am, sneak downstairs and open our parcels whilst they were still sleeping - then we'd go back to bed and wake up hours later to play.

I wish that mum and dad had made us wait really, because it must have been a little disappointing to wake up and find that we'd already found our piles, ripped the paper off and then gone back to sleep after all their planning, preparing, rushing around buying, wrapping and hoping we liked what they'd found.....

I've always made my boys wait until we're all up and about - I wanted to see them open presents, not hear about it afterwards.

Our routine now is get up, have breakfast then Dj can open presents...this isn't rushed and sometimes he'll actually start to play with something then suddenly remember he's still got something else to open...

When he was younger he LOVED Action Man and would spend ages just examining one and totally forget that there were other presents left unopened :-)

Around 1pm mum, dad, Sarah, James will arrive (this year James and Leanne are coming Boxing day as it's Wendy's turn this year to feed them Christmas day) then it's time for Dj to show what he's received and maybe play a board game or two whilst the Christmas lunch is cooking.

After we've eaten and relaxed for a while it's adult present time and Dj then receives his gifts from family too - we introduced this a few years ago and it works really well. Before that we used to give out presents as people arrived but that always felt rushed to me, so I changed it to after we eat.

Everyone seems to like it and says the day feels fuller as there is still something to look forward to after food, so we've stuck with it.

Later on in the evening we have toasted turkey and pickle sandwiches and finger food, plus Louise's lovely yummy Christmas cake, chocolate biscuits, Cheese board, Olives, Roasted Peppers, crisps, dips etc and put on another few pounds (or stones) or two.

Alcohol is not a big part of Christmas for us - we have a glass or two of wine with lunch then most people go onto soft drinks or tea/coffee.

So that's how we spend Christmas....looking forward to reading about some of your Christmas traditions on your blogs.

More pictures from Christmases past.........

Eddie, my younger brother playing with dolls instead of his own stuff (we used to swop regularly)


Me with cousin Elizabeth - neither of us looking particularly happy in this pic!



Us kids with Aunt Lou


This one is Sarah back in 1969 -

She was absolutely mad on Cowboy stuff hence the cowboy hat and toy rifle present from Grandad Lea - LOL....never mind 'Annie get your gun' this is 'Sarah's got her gun, so run'....

This is one of my favourite memories of James as a little boy...he LOVED this print of BA from the A Team and it had pride of place on his bedroom wall for many years.

It was one of the least expensive presents I'd ever purchased and one of the most loved....

Djamel's first Christmas - 1999....


And finally below, this is one of those pictures that you just can't plan.

Took this shot of James, Leanne and Djamel concentrating on a puzzle book that James had received for Christmas (2008) and when we looked at it, realised the man in the background on the TV seemed as though he was studying the book over their shoulder as well - always makes me laugh when I see it

Nurse says 'Doing well now'....

Yesterday I visited the nurse at my GP surgery to get the wound redressed.

The district nurses are not able to come to me any longer as I'm now 'fully mobile' (which means you are able to walk 10 metres) but they have said that if the wound still hasn't healed by Christmas, they will break the rules and visit me to ensure that I do not run the risk of picking up an infection at this late stage....so that's good anyway.

So, yesterday Nurse J checked the wound and said 'Looking good and doing well now, just about 1.5cm that still needs to heal'...

She then decided to use something (can't remember what it's called) to help healing and redressed the wound for me.

I'm quietly optimistic that given another week or so, it will heal the way I'd hoped. All those good, positive thoughts are working - so thank you everyone :-)

Maybe, just maybe, my Christmas present will be a long soak in the bath this year :-) Or if not, maybe my New Year gift to myself will be a relaxing bath...either way nearly there, all being well.

Ouch! That hurts........

Wednesday morning my sister came with me to see if they could get my stitches out yet...they'd been in place for 5 weeks and 1 day.

Unusually we didn't have to wait long to be seen. The surgeon came and had a look and decided that although the wound hasn't fully healed, it was now time to remove them as they were starting to embed into the surrounding skin.

I took my paracetamol (my own supply...lol) and then he removed them one by painful one.

Did it hurt? Hell YES! but I managed not to cry until the very last two. I knew those last two would be the worst as they were the ones that had continually dug into me every time I moved for the past 5 weeks - felt like having an injection with each step I took.

Sarah held my hand and helped me get through it - she said she stopped looking after the first two and doesn't know how I get through half of what they've done to me at times....I think I'm lucky in that I do have a fairly good pain threshold - and also lucky that I have people like Sarah to remind me that I'm doing okay, even when I feel I'm being a big wuss!

So now I'm free of the stitches but still not allowed a bath until the wound heals more. BAH! but at the same time I don't want to put myself in the line of trouble with regard to healing - so I'll wait longer....

It's almost like having a bath has become an obsession for me now. It's a marker, it means that if I can get in the bath for a long soak the wound is better - and until then I'm just waiting, waiting, waiting and hoping it holds.

The surgeon said he's 'optimistic' that the wound will fully heal but if not we'll have to look at wound packing for a time.

Having said that, no follow up appointment has been made for anyone to even check that it is healing - so guess I'll have to monitor it myself now then and make another appointment after Christmas/New Year if I'm worried.