About Me

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I'm Carole, living in London, happily married and mum to two amazing boys.I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Rectal Cancer in April 2010. Surgery took place in November 2010 and I now have a permanent colostomy...Spinal mets were then diagnosed in October 2011...In January 2012 I was told of further spread to the hip area (multiple lesions)..My life expectancy is now 6-9 months. Walk alongside me on the last part of my experience with this..

Sunday, 7 November 2010

Bags are packed and ........

...........still don't want to go......:-(

I'm looking at my packed bags and have none of the excitement usually associated with packed suitcases sitting in the corner just waiting to be hauled onto a train, plane or automobile.....Instead I'll be checking into 'Hotel' KC for an indefinite number of nights.

The ward sister called this afternoon to tell me that there is a bed waiting for me tomorrow on 'Cotton Ward' . Sounds nice eh, 'cotton': fresh, clean, crisp and spring like...
I'll more or less guarantee it's nothing like the description I've just provided but more on that once I've escaped their clutches.

So the plan is get there for tomorrow morning at 10am. Settle in and start the bowel prep, first sachet of disgusting tasting muck followed by one further sachet 6 hours later - then a few hours after that everything should be gone!

Surgery next day, Tuesday but don't know exactly what time yet - although I'm assuming it will be fairly early as it's a long op -minimum 6 hours if all goes well, could be longer if anything changes along the way.
Plan is keyhole surgery - but with the option to change to full open surgery if any surprises are found.

No visitors until James/Rab say so - I'm made it clear to them that this is my decision and I will see people only when I feel ready and not before. Sorry if that offends anyone but this is all about me, me, me now.
I'll see you when I've got my head round things.

James will be updating my blog - thanks James.

Don't know what else to say tonight really apart from thanks for all the support, kind comments, the statements that tell me I'll get through this in one piece (well, not exactly one piece, but you know what I mean....) and bye for now.

bbl8r (which means, be back later).....:-)


  1. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
    All the luck in the world.
    Rose xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  2. and Shents xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  3. True words Carole, this is all about you, you, you now. I'm sure you're not 'calm' as such, but you seem much calmer than yesterday. All the love and luck in the world, beat this beast and get well soon. xxx

  4. Life is like a rollercoaster ...
    ....No matter how hard
    This ride seems to be,
    You just gotta get through it.
    Just have faith in yourself.
    If you follow the track,
    For it will take you home.


  5. We are all there with you in spirit. Aunty my thoughts and prayers are with you throughout this time.

    Please tell James to keep us updated as much as possible. I mean you so much as blink, we want to know!!!

    Picture me hugging you really really tightly. Like 'squeezing the life out of you' tightly.

    Love you xxxxxxxx

  6. All the very best...I am hoping and praying that all goes well - one thing I was told and I thought what a load of b@ll$%s but I tried it and it worked!

    When you are in pain and you are finding it tough imagine life in 3 months when you should be feeling a whole lot better. It will take a while, it will be tough, you will feel that nothing is going right at times but visualise the gang at home with you sitting round the table eating dinner or eating pizza and watching a DVD with Dj.

    I didn't call today as I imagined that you would be in the zone and focused on tomorrow...if you do want to talk tonight I am here and not sleeping so give me a shout...I have resent my mobile number so you can call or text!

    Much Love and thank-you for the kicks up the arse and the love and compassion when I needed it most!

    Tony xxx

  7. Sis, we are both thinking about you hun. That Greek doctor better do his job well otherwise he'll have to face Manolis! See you in 21 days sis, and we'll be staying for Christmas dinner! Much love and as always hugs, tiger woman, grrrrhhh! xxxxxxx
    PS much love and hugs to Rab, DJ, James & Leanne, Mum and dad and big bro Eddie. You guys keep it together, as a family we won't let this bastar* win! xxx

  8. Carole,

    Praying for you and the medical team. You will be on my mind tomorrow. I truly believe it will all go well. Looking forward to your next post, and to hear how you are doing.

    Wishing you a speedy recovery.
    Blessings and hugs, Love Rose Mary xoxo

  9. Dear Carol
    Our thoights and prayers are with you
    Much Love
    Wendy and George xxx

  10. So that rules out a Christmas shopping trip to Oxford Street on Saturday I suppose?

    Missed you. Miss you. Tell Rab and James they'd better tell me just as soon as you're up for a visit. In the meantime, it'd had better all be about 'you, you, you' or I'll want to know why!!

    Love always.


  11. Give yourself whatever gifts of time and rest you need to feel better - and know that you're surrounded by caring thoughts and prayers and heartfelt wishes. Rest easy. Get well.
    Author Unknown
    Sending healing thoughts to you special lady.
    God Bless xo

  12. thinking of you Carole xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  13. Carole, here's wishing you a successful surgery. Mine comes up on Dec. 3rd, also for rectal cancer. Reading your blog has given me a better sense of community. I'm new at this cancer stuff too. It's nice knowing that others share similar feelings and anxieties. I like this phrase I ran across on a web site, "Cancer is a word, not a sentence." We'll both get through this. I seem to remember reading that you are not one to pray, but that's how I was raised. So please take this as a gift and know that you have a cancer buddy praying for you way over in Salt Lake City, Utah. Best of everything to you. You are not alone in this fight.

  14. I'm too late I know, but this will be here when you're able to catch up again. Sorry for the delay - Irene kinda took over again for a week.

    THIS tells you EVERYTHING you can try on NHS. I got Charter to mail my bags and supplies - you get freebies along the way for your continued custom. They were lovely (other companies do same) and would send samples if you have code from THIS list: http://www.ppa.org.uk/edt/November_2010/mindex.htm takes a while to load. Should be displaying stoma appliances - index on left.

    I found cavilon pump spray to form protective layer on clean skin, spray on adhesive remover, stoma paste, double sided adhesive discs (coloplast mouldable rings for me) - to form an extra protective ring around stoma all the best when skin was sore. Also a two part bag - the longer you leave a bag on, the less trauma to skin, so a base plate left for a week = less damage.

    If you have diarrhoea ever (if chemo is ever in your life, this is likely) ostosorb or morform sachets to solidify the output + deodorant sachets if you're feeling nauseous ever can help when changing.

    In the early days - some medical adhesive tape is handy to tape a nappy sack to yourself to catch everything, sat down and taking your time.

    Probably too much to take in - but if you have a problem - ask, I'll tell you what helped me if I had the same one (may need to dig through old blogs).

    Hope today goes well and you heal fast xxx